Hello Dearest Readers….
I had a strong response to last month’s newsletter on perfectionism. Seems many of us relate to the quest for excellence gone awry. You’re feedback inspired me to speak to its pesky twin – pressure and pride. In my experience they go hand in hand, when what may have started as a positive pursuit begins to adversely affect our health, relationships, etc.
Often what pushes pulls, compresses, then inevitably confines us to values we may not be not aligned with, though somehow we doggedly pursue despite the price we pay.
Unaware these rumbling and roadblocks were brewing inside of me in the past few years, I recently saw a beautiful film that helped me to understand what I didn’t know I was experiencing. If you haven’t already seen it, I suggest checking out Dancer. It’s a documentary of a young mans rise to fame as a ballet dancer, and the perfectionism, pressure, and pride (the 3 p’s) that evidentially lead to drugs and wanting to quite his passion. I love how someone’s story can help us understand our own.
After seeing this film, I grasped to a greater degree how my own issues with “getting it perfect,” has put so much pressure on me that rebellion (against myself… duh) became a necessary, albeit unconscious tool, to tear down the pride that glued it all together. Hence why eating 100% raw, and working like mad no longer satisfied me – not to say it won’t again, though I’m sure minus overworking and its personal toll. Humbling and crushing yes, though I’d rather melt down than not heed the signs, and experience a major disaster (like I have in the past).
Climbing out of the backlash and pit of the 3 p’s – is both the challenge and opportunity – I’ve been going through in the past few years. You?
It’s like upgrading to a new operating system that’s rewiring your very psyche, though it takes time to repair the fallout of what perfectionism, pressure, and pride do to us humans. Not always easy to face, though ignoring it only makes it worse and feeds the insatiable hungry ghost within.
This place doesn’t get enough food, sex, drugs, TV, workshops, etc. Neglected, it can even erode our very existence. It’s as old as dusk being taken by night, and the quest for balance and light. The good news is, there’s an alternative to our spiritual starvation that drives the taskmaster – nay slave driver – of the 3 p’s. Here’s what helps me:
- coming back to self-care… (eat more raw, fasting, regular exercise, sauna, dry skin brush, quiet time, etc.)
- adjust thinking… meditation is medicine
- keep dreams alive…. live some aspect no matter how small or big daily
- soften a hard heart… breathing really helps, and embracing intimacy in all its forms
- accepting where I am, who I am… as is, point blank
- stop trying so hard…. it’s/I’m good enough now (not when this or that happens or doesn’t)
- hold the 3’ps… they need a lot of love, so why not cradle them?
I’ll miss you for part 2 this month, as I’m getting married next week! Till next month!