From Turmoil to Tenacity

January 30, 2019
by Amy Rachelle

Dearest Reader,
Happy Sunday.
I know none of us are strangers to turmoil – wretched it is – gut wrenching agony.  Though having experienced plenty of it, it teaches me tenacity.
tenacity | təˈnasədē | noun the quality or fact of being able to grip something firmly: the quality or fact of being very determined; the quality or fact of continuing to exist; persistence.
I especially like that last definition “the quality or fact of continuing to exist; persistence.”  After rising up from a very broken place a year and a half ago, I learn to give myself permission to truly be fully here, to take up space, or continue to exist – and therefore persist.
Do you relate, or does this at all sound vague?
The turmoil – heart ache really – of subconsciously believing I don’t have a right to exist, was nothing less than echos of childhood trauma.  I didn’t know it, though I wasn’t fully here.  Hiding, undervaluing myself, and living in turmoil, something in me knew there had to be another way.  I’m so thankful for that inner voice – and following it!
And thank goodness for tenacity.  The ability to dig in and not give up, even when we have no idea how to do it, what to do, or what we’re doing.  To persist – continue to exist – when all odds (especially in the mind), say we should just quit doing what we love, not go for that next challenge that calls our heart, or otherwise crawl under the covers and hide.
Growing my online business, I’m learning to make videos. And is it ever CHALLENGING!!!  Every bit of resistance, self-judgement, and big time perfectionism makes me want to absolutely just quit – and quick.  After sinking a huge amount of money into a promotional process, little did I know – I’d be asked to make many videos for it… oh no, anything but that.  “Ha” says the right to exist. “Poo poo you” says the need to persist.  Yet – in doing so, out of pure stubbornness – persist I have.  It brings me closer in touch with my innate ability to keep excelling, no matter the initial 60 video failure.  I’m learning how to record, facing my fears of not being good enough, and learning to accept myself (again), no matter.  It’s said showing up – is the first step to success.
So turmoil or tenacity?  It’s like asking myself what I’d prefer – drama or just doing it.  I’ll take the second please.
Do you also get stuck because you have trouble moving past self-judgement and the inner critic?  I really understand.  Lets just break it down, learn what we need to learn, not know, and accept where we are. We can only get better from there – and perhaps even fulfill dreams along the way.
Thank you tenacity teacher.  I’ll take you over turbulence and perfectionism any day.
Feeling called to get on with it?  May full commitment – presence and persistence really – be our guide.
“Jumping from failure to failure with undiminished
enthusiasm is the big secret to success.”

Savas Dimopoulos
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