Self-doubt. Surely its one of the greatest of all killers.
Should I stay or should I go. What if this, or that…. and on it goes the chatter of the mind. Of course, its nothing personal – and something we all have to gain reign “over” – or perhaps with.
I find overthinking eats holes in the net that otherwise catches me when I’m unsure, feeling torn, or otherwise holding on. Meanwhile we pray for abundance, love, and amazing opportunities to fruit and flower. Yet do we let go, and make space for what we really want – and need?
Leaving Bali 2 years ago was one of those moments for me… and now leaving our house on Ibiza is the same. In a different way. I really didn’t want to leave Bali at all, and though I LOVE going, I now also look forward to leaving, and no longer want to live there. Funny, I couldn’t imagine it back when I was holding on to it.
This sweet seaside mountaintop home, where we live in isolation is absolutely mind-blowing… though, choosing to live in the flow of life – we know its time to go. I’m so very sad on one hand, and I mourn that, and at the same time… life has shown me that by letting go and making space, my prayers can be made manifest, rather than when I over lament, hold on out of fear, not take the risk to jump…. and open up to how dreams are fulfilled. I find it isn’t always comfortable to be so very vulnerable. Not knowing where you’re going, where home is – for instance (besides within self! whew!) – or how things will go. Why do we need to know?
Yet without taking the leap of faith, and not know, we may live in no-mans-land, in limbo, steeped in confusion and self-doubt… and ultimately unfulfilled. Here our food and lifestyle habits likely get compromised and that bite of ice cream may turn into eating the tub, and that piece of chocolate may turn into a chunk!
What to do? Here’s what I’m practicing:
1. big breaths, especially when scared, doubting my intuition, or torn…. my breathwork practice in general really helps with this!
2. making conscious choices. I ask myself, what do you really want? And if doing what I’m doing isn’t taking me there, I know I must let go. Even if I don’t know what else to do. That’s a start, even if just in my mind first.
3. what about in relationships? Well, I remind myself of my own value. And if where I’m at with a partner (or any relationship) consistently isn’t meeting on par, I choose to honor my value, instead of my habit. Big one. Stuffing myself with food, I know is only pushing down the pain. Better to face it.
4. home? I’m facing the sadness, and my inner child trauma of feeling homeless – again. And opening to the adventure, while making space and holding feeling my little inner orphan.
5. and when I find myself acting out with food? I allow for small doses of this… and keep coming back to reminding myself of how I want to feel. And eating chocolate, overeating, etc – I know just doesn’t work. Still doing it anyway? Support, reach out and ask for help… hands-down without delay.
6. money issues? I come back to my own sense of worth again, and what it takes to feel empowered within myself. What is that for you? Focusing on what we can do, instead of can’t – may increase the bank balance. We make different choices in our power, than feeling helpless, for sure.
Is letting go calling you? With food, weight, mourning the lose of what you don’t want – so you can have what you want?
Surely when we find ourselves holding on, its an opportunity to claim our worth, act upon it, and end self-doubt… by honoring choices that launch and manifest our potential.
Let me know how you do.
I love you!
Dr. Amy
